To live.

I've noticed through social media that there have been quite a few announcements of death. These are people that I may not have been particularly close with, but knew. I feel like, although I'm not really afraid of the idea of death because of my religious beliefs, it doesn't change the feelings of sadness that I have within me. I feel like death from age is probably the only time where I think, "They lived such a fulfilling life." But when people's lives are cut short, I just feel sad. I feel like they still had more to live for.

There have been multiple times where I have experienced near-death. Every time, I realize that I might be just a little bit afraid to die. Not because I fear what will happen next, but because I feel like I'd have regrets. Regrets of having not been able to do various things. "Dang. I never got to be a wife or a mom to anyone. I wasn't able to have a classroom of my own to teach in, with my own students. I wasn't able to travel and experience other cultures. I wasn't able to sing on a stage again. etc."

Yes, I do have plans for all of these things. I plan to fulfill these desires. I feel like these goals that I have set for myself have given me my own reason to live. I'm living for myself. But if I get a terminal illness, or into an accident, I'd have regrets. I'd want to live to fulfill these goals. I may not have known these people - they may have felt that they've accomplished all that they needed to - but for me personally... I have things to do that I'm working towards. I don't want to die. Not yet.

*I did take a video for the day, but I want to post something that fit the mood of the post, I guess?